After applying Speed Stick, I went for a jog expecting at least a modest increase in velocity. I should have been slicing through the air like a deodorized cheetah. Instead, I maintained my usual pace: “mildly winded housecat.”
To ensure fair testing, I reapplied generously — directly to my calves, thighs, and in one moment of scientific desperation, my kneecaps. Still nothing. Zero aerodynamic benefit. Zero acceleration. My running form did not improve. My knees remained disappointingly average.
Two stars because the scent is pleasant and lasts longer than my hopes, but as a speed enhancement device, it failed every metric imaginable.
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